Children need a consistent caregiver who is empathetic and warm to show up in their lives. Early development and learning are extremely important to children. The early years are when the personality development takes place. By age five years the personality is pretty much formed. Children from the time that they come into the world need some to be consistent in taking care of their needs.
When a baby cries and the mother responds with warmth, a baby bottle and a diaper change the child learns that the world is a safe place to grow up in. If the mother ignores the child, is constantly distracted or busy with her own emotions and does not respond consistently the child learns that world is not a safe place. The child learns that their parental figure can’t be trusted to be there when they need them. When a child begins to grow up at each stage, they need someone there to guide them and keep them safe.
What we learn in childhood gets repeated in our adult relationships. If we had a parent who did not show up for us consistently we often unconsciously repeat the same pattern in adulthood picking friends or partners who may not show up for us as well. This is often due to the fact that it is familiar to us. Perhaps we develop low self-esteem because our caregiver did not show up for us in an emotionally warm way and so we end up picking a partner who does the same.
I honestly wish the public was more educated on this issue and that generational trauma or unhealthy patterns were not repeated. It goes a long want to pass on the good things to the next generation so that they become happy, healthy, productive individuals.
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